No offense to mothers everywhere. You deserve the recognition and all that. But seriously, it can suck me.
To start with, my mom has been gone for going on 8 years now. I miss her everyday... but having just had my second miscarriage a month ago, it seems wholely unfair that she's not around to hug me and tell me it'll be ok. Sure, I'm a big girl and shouldn't need that, but .... uhhh... I do.
Then there's the whole no-living-babies that gets me on this weekend too. If life were fair, I'd have two beautiful living children right now. But they're not. And it's hard because it's the only thing in life I want. I have everything else: friends, family, love, security, home... all of it. And, don't misunderstand, I recognize that in it's entirety. But my type A personality doesn't really allow me space to be "ok" with not being pregnant and not having any children.
On top of all that? I am PMSing. Which is a good thing because we can get back to the baby-making... but it makes me CRANKY and EMOTIONAL... which is fun for no one (especially me.)
To start with, my mom has been gone for going on 8 years now. I miss her everyday... but having just had my second miscarriage a month ago, it seems wholely unfair that she's not around to hug me and tell me it'll be ok. Sure, I'm a big girl and shouldn't need that, but .... uhhh... I do.
Then there's the whole no-living-babies that gets me on this weekend too. If life were fair, I'd have two beautiful living children right now. But they're not. And it's hard because it's the only thing in life I want. I have everything else: friends, family, love, security, home... all of it. And, don't misunderstand, I recognize that in it's entirety. But my type A personality doesn't really allow me space to be "ok" with not being pregnant and not having any children.
On top of all that? I am PMSing. Which is a good thing because we can get back to the baby-making... but it makes me CRANKY and EMOTIONAL... which is fun for no one (especially me.)
1 comment:
Aww, Jenn, you're right that really does suck....but I understand you feeling that way and it's okay - I don't think anyone would take offense, and if they do, oh well! They don't have to read your blog so ptttbbbhh on them!
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