Everywhere you go... la la la
We're having a snow storm!!! We haven't had a snow, a real snow, in december in YEARS. If ever. It's beautiful and wonderful and I'm just glad it's on the weekend and I don't have to worry about getting to and from work!!!
Pictures tomorrow!!!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Things I am Thankful for
Happy Thanksgiving folks. I hope everyone is having a wonderful time with family and friends and enjoying a feast! If you've read me before, you're aware that I enjoy making lists, so here's my list of things to be grateful for:
1) My husband. He is a man to compare all men to. He's thoughtful and kind and handsome and smart and he pushes me up when I am down.
2) My marriage. You might think this is the same as #1, but you can have good people in a bad marriage (see marriage numero uno.) The strength of my marriage surpasses what I ever thought I would have in life. I can't imagine not being with him.
3) Quinn. Our growing boy. It took a long time to get him going, but it was worth every effort, every struggle, every tear... I would do it again in a heartbeat.
4) Our family. We may not see eye-to-eye, but I still appreciate that the members of our families are good, solid people.
5) Our home. Not just the house, though I like that too... but this place we've built together. It's better to be here than any other place in the world.
6) My friends. All of you. Without you I wouldn't have any of the above. The strength they lend me, the honesty and love they share with me is unfathomable in a world like ours today. I am exceedingly lucky to know who I know. And even luckier to be cared for by them.
7) Being able to sit at the table and decorate pinecone cakes and listen to bad hip-hop music all with my husband. It's sometimes the simple things in life that mean the most.
8) My job. While it frustrates me and isn't always what I'd wish it to be, it's a good job with a good salary. In our economy I am lucky to have it.
9) My pets. Their unconditional love is always a surprise.
10) My history. I've made mistakes along the way, as everyone has. But without the people I've known, the events I have lived through, I would not be the person I am today. And I LIKE the person I am today.
I hope you and your loved ones can rouse up at least 10 things to be grateful and give thanks for this holiday season. May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.
Love Always,
Jennifer
1) My husband. He is a man to compare all men to. He's thoughtful and kind and handsome and smart and he pushes me up when I am down.
2) My marriage. You might think this is the same as #1, but you can have good people in a bad marriage (see marriage numero uno.) The strength of my marriage surpasses what I ever thought I would have in life. I can't imagine not being with him.
3) Quinn. Our growing boy. It took a long time to get him going, but it was worth every effort, every struggle, every tear... I would do it again in a heartbeat.
4) Our family. We may not see eye-to-eye, but I still appreciate that the members of our families are good, solid people.
5) Our home. Not just the house, though I like that too... but this place we've built together. It's better to be here than any other place in the world.
6) My friends. All of you. Without you I wouldn't have any of the above. The strength they lend me, the honesty and love they share with me is unfathomable in a world like ours today. I am exceedingly lucky to know who I know. And even luckier to be cared for by them.
7) Being able to sit at the table and decorate pinecone cakes and listen to bad hip-hop music all with my husband. It's sometimes the simple things in life that mean the most.
8) My job. While it frustrates me and isn't always what I'd wish it to be, it's a good job with a good salary. In our economy I am lucky to have it.
9) My pets. Their unconditional love is always a surprise.
10) My history. I've made mistakes along the way, as everyone has. But without the people I've known, the events I have lived through, I would not be the person I am today. And I LIKE the person I am today.
I hope you and your loved ones can rouse up at least 10 things to be grateful and give thanks for this holiday season. May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.
Love Always,
Jennifer
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The Mighty Quinn
We had our 20 week ultrasound this morning and we were VERY PLEASED to discover that our baby is a boy. We have named him Quinn (the middle name to be determined, we're leaning toward Robert.) Here's some grainy ultrasound photos.
His Profile:
His foot. This is my very favorite. It's so cute a perfect, tiny foot!!! <3<3<3
Facing front and his arm:
There are a few others on my facebook, but these are the best. We heard his heartbeat for the first time, 152 bpm. So beautiful. He's measuring perfect... all of the measurements. He's so awesome. It's just so hard to believe that we're finally getting this amazing gift. I am in shock and disbelief most days. It's hard too, to know there's nothing wrong when there's been stuff wrong at every turn with the conception. But now, after all that we experienced today and how much love I feel for my little man, I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy and try to put my worries aside. He's on his way and he's perfect. And I feel like it's ok to accept that now. It's still scary, I admit it... but it's just cause I love him so so so much.
His Profile:
His foot. This is my very favorite. It's so cute a perfect, tiny foot!!! <3<3<3
Facing front and his arm:
There are a few others on my facebook, but these are the best. We heard his heartbeat for the first time, 152 bpm. So beautiful. He's measuring perfect... all of the measurements. He's so awesome. It's just so hard to believe that we're finally getting this amazing gift. I am in shock and disbelief most days. It's hard too, to know there's nothing wrong when there's been stuff wrong at every turn with the conception. But now, after all that we experienced today and how much love I feel for my little man, I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy and try to put my worries aside. He's on his way and he's perfect. And I feel like it's ok to accept that now. It's still scary, I admit it... but it's just cause I love him so so so much.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Confidential to My Mom...
Wow... 9 years already? Sometimes, a lot of the time, it feels like yesterday. Things are so different now. I miss you so much.
Well, the big news is that I'm carrying your grandchild. After all these years and trying so hard... it's a scary relief to be pregnant finally. We'll know in 3 weeks if it's a boy or a girl. The names we've got picked out so far are Elizabeth Jewel (after you, of course and Mark's mom) and Quinn Robert (we just like Quinn and Robert is Mark's late Uncle's name.) ... the boy's name is subject to change, but the girl's name is set in stone.
Anyway... I love you, Mom. I will always love you. I miss you very much. I will give the baby extra hugs for you, I know you would want that. Dad is VERY excited!! So is Suzanne!
Well, the big news is that I'm carrying your grandchild. After all these years and trying so hard... it's a scary relief to be pregnant finally. We'll know in 3 weeks if it's a boy or a girl. The names we've got picked out so far are Elizabeth Jewel (after you, of course and Mark's mom) and Quinn Robert (we just like Quinn and Robert is Mark's late Uncle's name.) ... the boy's name is subject to change, but the girl's name is set in stone.
Anyway... I love you, Mom. I will always love you. I miss you very much. I will give the baby extra hugs for you, I know you would want that. Dad is VERY excited!! So is Suzanne!
Until Next Year,
Jennifer
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Baby update + ridiculousness of life....
I had my monthly check up at the OB today. Everything went smoothly, baby is growing, I have lost 26 lbs. At first I was scared because he still can't get a heartbeat through my belly. He says this is not abnormal and it's because I'm overweight. So he did another ultrasound... but for a couple of minutes I felt my stomach in my throat waiting for everything to be ok.
He says he can't tell me to stop worrying. I'm a mom, that's my job. But everything is going fine, so I'm going to try to be happy about that.
SO, my newest pregnancy symptomy stuff is that my appetite is outrageous. It's not that I want to eat that much, I have no desire for anything in particular. Occasionally I will want something... recently it's rotisserie chicken.
In other news, I've been rereading the Twilight saga. I lent out book 1, but I finished book 2 and 3 and am now working on 4. It's fun to read. It's easy to get lost in the drama and the fantasy of it. I don't know what I'll read when it's over. I'll be sad I think.
So the only other semi-interesting thing going on is I had a rather large blow up with my husband's family. His brothers and their wives specifically. I can't even really say what happened. I kept thinking I am being reasonable, but then being told in no uncertain terms, and with a not insignificant amount of nastiness, that I am not. So it's frustrating. I'm not sure what to say, if anything, to them next time I see them. I can't hide from his family, but I want to. I don't want to subject myself to that stuff... especially being pregnant.
I guess I'll just play it by ear, see what happens. :shrug: Whatever it is, I'm not going to worry about it. The rest of my pregnancy is going to be stress free no matter what it takes. Foot firmly down.
He says he can't tell me to stop worrying. I'm a mom, that's my job. But everything is going fine, so I'm going to try to be happy about that.
SO, my newest pregnancy symptomy stuff is that my appetite is outrageous. It's not that I want to eat that much, I have no desire for anything in particular. Occasionally I will want something... recently it's rotisserie chicken.
In other news, I've been rereading the Twilight saga. I lent out book 1, but I finished book 2 and 3 and am now working on 4. It's fun to read. It's easy to get lost in the drama and the fantasy of it. I don't know what I'll read when it's over. I'll be sad I think.
So the only other semi-interesting thing going on is I had a rather large blow up with my husband's family. His brothers and their wives specifically. I can't even really say what happened. I kept thinking I am being reasonable, but then being told in no uncertain terms, and with a not insignificant amount of nastiness, that I am not. So it's frustrating. I'm not sure what to say, if anything, to them next time I see them. I can't hide from his family, but I want to. I don't want to subject myself to that stuff... especially being pregnant.
I guess I'll just play it by ear, see what happens. :shrug: Whatever it is, I'm not going to worry about it. The rest of my pregnancy is going to be stress free no matter what it takes. Foot firmly down.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Light a Candle
October 15th is International Pregnancy and infant Loss Remembrance Day.
If you can, light a candle tonight at 7 pm to honor and support the mothers and fathers of lost babies. Having a miscarriage is an incredibly difficult and scary thing to go through. The death of the pregnancy is very real and very painful. Having had two miscarriages myself I can tell you that women in my position need your support.
Thank You,
Jennifer
Confidential to my Angels:
I love you my babies. You will live forever in my heart.
01/23/2004 <3
04/12/2008 <3
Your Mom
If you can, light a candle tonight at 7 pm to honor and support the mothers and fathers of lost babies. Having a miscarriage is an incredibly difficult and scary thing to go through. The death of the pregnancy is very real and very painful. Having had two miscarriages myself I can tell you that women in my position need your support.
Thank You,
Jennifer
Confidential to my Angels:
I love you my babies. You will live forever in my heart.
01/23/2004 <3
04/12/2008 <3
Your Mom
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
The Simple Life (Or lack thereof)
Lately, maybe because of my pregnancy, I think alot about how I can simplify things. I don't know where to start, what to give up or change... but the desire to make those changes is so strong that it is consuming most of my waking minutes.
Maybe part of it is because, thanks to the picky eater inside, all I have been eating lately is soup and sandwiches, occasionally a salad. Long gone are the desires for sushi and lattes. So I think about this and it occurs to me, what if I make these changes permanent? What if, instead of eating out and buying expensive, pretty, and yes tasty foods, I just scale it down and eat simple.
What if I extend these changes to my cable, my cell phone, my electronics, my whole life? what would this accomplish? Would I still be happy and satisfied with my life if I gave up keeping up with the joneses? I think I would. I remember as a kid not having a computer, not having 239087409823498 cable channels to watch... we listened to music and read. God, I used to read 3 or 4 books a week, sometimes more. And it was fun. More importantly, it was EASY.
So, I think about things and the kind of life that I desperately want for my child. I grew up eating MickyD's weekly.. having candy and cakes and whatever all the time. Fruit was too expensive. We always had soda (though it was only diet pepsi, that's all my mom drank) and there were times we were out of milk. We never had OJ with breakfast.
Don't get me wrong. My childhood was blessed, poor or not. My parents were fantastic and loved us with the strength of 10,000 suns. But we did not have a healthy balanced diet. We watched a fantastic amount of televison (we all still do), and we laid around complaining about how tired we were.
If it's true that you learn from your parents, then what is it , exactly that I want to teach my children? Here's the first ten things that come to mind:
1) Candy bars are not snack food.
2) You don't have to have fries with your burger/hotdog.
3) Milk is GOOD.
4) There really is no more important meal than breakfast. Cereal is delicious, embrace it.
5) There is such a thing as celebrating without food.
6) Just because there's something on TV to watch, doesn't mean you have to watch it.
7) Exercise/sports should be fun... not a chore.
8) There is an entire world to explore at your fingertips. All you have to do is open a book.
9) A hug can make your whole life better.
10) Without love, true love, there is not satisfying life.
To expand upon #10. True love starts with accepting who you are for what you are. Once that happens, the rest will fall into place. Having been married twice and having discovered myself, my true self, inbetween those marriages... I can attest to the fact that without that, without that self-realization of how valuable *I* am as a person (if only to myself), I do not think I could've found the deep, penetrating love that I feel for my husband. I couldn't have given him that part of me, because I didn't know who or what that part of me was. That might sound hokie, I don't know... but it's true. And I want my kids to feel this about themselves. I don't want it to take 31 years for this to happen. And I really don't want them to deal with what I dealt with for this knowledge to take hold.
I don't think my kids will have a charmed life... but I do think I can help them to help themselves. More than I was helped. I don't believe my parents didn't want me to feel these things, I think... no, I KNOW, they didn't feel it themselves. Which is why it's so important for me to remember who I am at all times.
Anyway... pregnancy update... things are going great as far as I know. I go back for a regular OB check up in a week. I should hear the heartbeat on the doppler. I'll be 11 weeks on Sunday. I thank God every day for every minute I am still pregnant. I hope he continues to bless us and allow this miracle to keep living.
/sappiness. :)
Maybe part of it is because, thanks to the picky eater inside, all I have been eating lately is soup and sandwiches, occasionally a salad. Long gone are the desires for sushi and lattes. So I think about this and it occurs to me, what if I make these changes permanent? What if, instead of eating out and buying expensive, pretty, and yes tasty foods, I just scale it down and eat simple.
What if I extend these changes to my cable, my cell phone, my electronics, my whole life? what would this accomplish? Would I still be happy and satisfied with my life if I gave up keeping up with the joneses? I think I would. I remember as a kid not having a computer, not having 239087409823498 cable channels to watch... we listened to music and read. God, I used to read 3 or 4 books a week, sometimes more. And it was fun. More importantly, it was EASY.
So, I think about things and the kind of life that I desperately want for my child. I grew up eating MickyD's weekly.. having candy and cakes and whatever all the time. Fruit was too expensive. We always had soda (though it was only diet pepsi, that's all my mom drank) and there were times we were out of milk. We never had OJ with breakfast.
Don't get me wrong. My childhood was blessed, poor or not. My parents were fantastic and loved us with the strength of 10,000 suns. But we did not have a healthy balanced diet. We watched a fantastic amount of televison (we all still do), and we laid around complaining about how tired we were.
If it's true that you learn from your parents, then what is it , exactly that I want to teach my children? Here's the first ten things that come to mind:
1) Candy bars are not snack food.
2) You don't have to have fries with your burger/hotdog.
3) Milk is GOOD.
4) There really is no more important meal than breakfast. Cereal is delicious, embrace it.
5) There is such a thing as celebrating without food.
6) Just because there's something on TV to watch, doesn't mean you have to watch it.
7) Exercise/sports should be fun... not a chore.
8) There is an entire world to explore at your fingertips. All you have to do is open a book.
9) A hug can make your whole life better.
10) Without love, true love, there is not satisfying life.
To expand upon #10. True love starts with accepting who you are for what you are. Once that happens, the rest will fall into place. Having been married twice and having discovered myself, my true self, inbetween those marriages... I can attest to the fact that without that, without that self-realization of how valuable *I* am as a person (if only to myself), I do not think I could've found the deep, penetrating love that I feel for my husband. I couldn't have given him that part of me, because I didn't know who or what that part of me was. That might sound hokie, I don't know... but it's true. And I want my kids to feel this about themselves. I don't want it to take 31 years for this to happen. And I really don't want them to deal with what I dealt with for this knowledge to take hold.
I don't think my kids will have a charmed life... but I do think I can help them to help themselves. More than I was helped. I don't believe my parents didn't want me to feel these things, I think... no, I KNOW, they didn't feel it themselves. Which is why it's so important for me to remember who I am at all times.
Anyway... pregnancy update... things are going great as far as I know. I go back for a regular OB check up in a week. I should hear the heartbeat on the doppler. I'll be 11 weeks on Sunday. I thank God every day for every minute I am still pregnant. I hope he continues to bless us and allow this miracle to keep living.
/sappiness. :)
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Heartbeat!!!!
I saw both my specialist and my OB this week... I saw the baby's heartbeat TWICE! There's just one baby and it is perfect!!!
The heartbeat was 140 beats per minute. And it was measuring right on the money!
Dr Wiles (my OB) wants me to see an Endocrinologist to make sure my glucose levels stay regulated. And I go back to see him in one month.
SO my little cherry is just a growin'. It's wonderful and I could not be any happier than I am right now.
The heartbeat was 140 beats per minute. And it was measuring right on the money!
Dr Wiles (my OB) wants me to see an Endocrinologist to make sure my glucose levels stay regulated. And I go back to see him in one month.
SO my little cherry is just a growin'. It's wonderful and I could not be any happier than I am right now.
Monday, August 24, 2009
For baby...
Listening to one of my favorite songs...
To Make You Feel My Love
Written by : Mr. Bob Dylan
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on the rollin' sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love
To Make You Feel My Love
Written by : Mr. Bob Dylan
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on the rollin' sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love
Friday, August 21, 2009
Crazy Anxiety!
I'm insane! Or I feel insane most of the time anyway.
The first half of this week I forgot my Anti-crazy pills and by Wednesday I was exhausted and emotional. Once I realized I'd forgotten it, I felt better. And once I took it, I felt even better.
I've been having troubles regulating my glucose levels. So I worry about that 24/7. Everything I read indicates that out-of-control glucose levels can easily lead to miscarriage. So I'm worried, worried all the time.
And I'm tired and I can't stand the thought of working my second job anymore. I secretly hope that my OB will tell me it's too stressful and I should quit. Ha! I will be considered "high risk" so there's a chance. If I did quit then I could sew and maybe make some money selling stuff. I would love that.
My ultrasound is August 31st. I just have to hold on until then. I'm been telling her to hold on too. We just both have to get through this time and then we'll be together.
Maybe I should title this blog "Crazy AND Anxiety"...
The first half of this week I forgot my Anti-crazy pills and by Wednesday I was exhausted and emotional. Once I realized I'd forgotten it, I felt better. And once I took it, I felt even better.
I've been having troubles regulating my glucose levels. So I worry about that 24/7. Everything I read indicates that out-of-control glucose levels can easily lead to miscarriage. So I'm worried, worried all the time.
And I'm tired and I can't stand the thought of working my second job anymore. I secretly hope that my OB will tell me it's too stressful and I should quit. Ha! I will be considered "high risk" so there's a chance. If I did quit then I could sew and maybe make some money selling stuff. I would love that.
My ultrasound is August 31st. I just have to hold on until then. I'm been telling her to hold on too. We just both have to get through this time and then we'll be together.
Maybe I should title this blog "Crazy AND Anxiety"...
Friday, August 14, 2009
Test Results #2!
Beta (HCG) was 412!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe it? cause I can't! I'm in shock.
Progesterone was 16.8.
I'm so happy. I keep welling up with tears. It's just so awesome, all of it. I felt some nausea yesterday... I notice my breasts are more tender today! Bring it on! I can't wait!
Progesterone was 16.8.
I'm so happy. I keep welling up with tears. It's just so awesome, all of it. I felt some nausea yesterday... I notice my breasts are more tender today! Bring it on! I can't wait!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
After all my whining and crying and pouting...
The results are in!
My #1 HCG MIU is 155mg. (Click "HCG" to link to information about the levels.) This is an AWESOME #!!
So Thursday we go in for HCG #2 and a Progesterone level. We're looking for the HCG to be above 310 and the progesterone to be around: 9-47 ug/ml
:Fingers crossed: This is good news!
My #1 HCG MIU is 155mg. (Click "HCG" to link to information about the levels.) This is an AWESOME #!!
So Thursday we go in for HCG #2 and a Progesterone level. We're looking for the HCG to be above 310 and the progesterone to be around: 9-47 ug/ml
:Fingers crossed: This is good news!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I gave in...
I called the RE's off ice yesterday (reproductive endocrinologist) and told them I had gotten a positive pregnancy test. They are insistent on my coming in and taking a serum pregnancy test. I resist. Not because I'm a difficult patient (I'm not), but because with the last pregnancy, all those numbers being thrown at me just made me feel slightly insane.
I talked to my PCP and I talked to Mark and my friends... all of them insisted that I go and get the blood test.
The thing about the test is that it's not the end-all, be-all of what's going on with the baby. It does give an idea... but it's not all you look at. And they run the test again 48 hours later and the titer should double during that time... so from the moment you get the first number you're waiting for a million years for the second number. If they don't double exactly, they make you take it AGAIN. Hence the insanity... the waiting and waiting and waiting... Sigh.
I guess I have been feeling like if I take this test, then that means there's a chance my pregnancy might be over. That is so so sad. I just cried and cried on my way to the lab to get my blood drawn. I mean, I did it... I went... I just couldn't help being so upset.
I just want so bad to stay pregnant. I want to live in my little fantasy land where the baby is healthy and growing and safe and I am healthy and safe and we're happy and Mark is proud of us. I talk to the baby all the time, telling her how important she is, how much we want her and love her already. I hope she can hear me.
I talked to my PCP and I talked to Mark and my friends... all of them insisted that I go and get the blood test.
The thing about the test is that it's not the end-all, be-all of what's going on with the baby. It does give an idea... but it's not all you look at. And they run the test again 48 hours later and the titer should double during that time... so from the moment you get the first number you're waiting for a million years for the second number. If they don't double exactly, they make you take it AGAIN. Hence the insanity... the waiting and waiting and waiting... Sigh.
I guess I have been feeling like if I take this test, then that means there's a chance my pregnancy might be over. That is so so sad. I just cried and cried on my way to the lab to get my blood drawn. I mean, I did it... I went... I just couldn't help being so upset.
I just want so bad to stay pregnant. I want to live in my little fantasy land where the baby is healthy and growing and safe and I am healthy and safe and we're happy and Mark is proud of us. I talk to the baby all the time, telling her how important she is, how much we want her and love her already. I hope she can hear me.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sugar vs Caffeine...
Pregnancy dilemma numero uno :
I picked up chicken sandwiches for the Mister and myself and they came with drinks... so I get Sprite, which has sugar but no caffeine? or diet coke which has caffeine but no sugar.
So much to think about. If it were early in the day I would get the diet coke... but this late in the day, the caffeine makes me go to the bathroom all night long... so I got the sprite.
Lil' Mobster and I are doin' just fine. I had some spotting this morning, but it went away. I didn't freak out either. I was proud. It seemed like normal, old stuff that my body is getting rid of to make room for the baby.
Anyway... so moms out there, what did you decide with regards to this issues? Consume caffeine or consume sugar?
I picked up chicken sandwiches for the Mister and myself and they came with drinks... so I get Sprite, which has sugar but no caffeine? or diet coke which has caffeine but no sugar.
So much to think about. If it were early in the day I would get the diet coke... but this late in the day, the caffeine makes me go to the bathroom all night long... so I got the sprite.
Lil' Mobster and I are doin' just fine. I had some spotting this morning, but it went away. I didn't freak out either. I was proud. It seemed like normal, old stuff that my body is getting rid of to make room for the baby.
Anyway... so moms out there, what did you decide with regards to this issues? Consume caffeine or consume sugar?
Saturday, August 8, 2009
On or Around April 17th, 2010...
There'll *hopefully* be a new little Mobster entering into the world.
I just found out this past Thursday that I am 4 weeks pregnant. We've been trying to get pregnant ever since we got married. A year and a half ago we got pregnant and had a miscarriage. Also several years ago my first husband I had a miscarriage as well.
So while we are so so so so excited... we are also scared and nervous and, yeah, wicked excited!!!
So... anyone that's interested, throw a little prayer or two our way. Mobster Baby needs them... as does Mom and Dad Mobster.
I just found out this past Thursday that I am 4 weeks pregnant. We've been trying to get pregnant ever since we got married. A year and a half ago we got pregnant and had a miscarriage. Also several years ago my first husband I had a miscarriage as well.
So while we are so so so so excited... we are also scared and nervous and, yeah, wicked excited!!!
So... anyone that's interested, throw a little prayer or two our way. Mobster Baby needs them... as does Mom and Dad Mobster.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Some things changes and some things stay the same..
I suck for not having posted anything in a long time... things are stressful right now and I'm having a hard time putting my emotions into words suitable for public viewing. I'm working on it though... so here's a life-update.
Things are crazy in Jennland these days. I don't know if I'm coming or going or going backwards or left or right or standing still. Even as I am being pulled in multiple directions, all things lead to moving forward, so that's what we do. Trek through the mud as if it's not even there.
The last post I made I had to take down. It was raw and emotional and I wasn't ready to share that with the general public. I still have it, maybe one day I'll be brave enough to wear my heart on my sleeve... right now, though, I'm tucking it away for a while. It's got a few bruises that need mending. I apologize for the teaser post. I am a basket full of nerves and emotions lately (my husband would say, Just lately??!)
So, what have I been doing? Well... besides working, I am having fun with some art projects... applique mostly. I'm not very good at it, but that's why we practice and take classes! Ha! I have a Statistics class starting this month that I desperately need to register for. I'm sure you'll be bombarded with "I fucking hate this" posts shortly thereafter. ;)
I'm writing. For the first time in a long time... a fiction short-story. I can't remember the last time I did that. It's incredibly fun. If I get a decent amount written, I'll share it maybe. It's different than anything I've ever written before, but I really like it.
And of course... Tick-Tock. Tick-Tock. Tick-Tock. That's the sound my ovaries make when I wake up in the mornings, well and at night... Hell, all day long! Heh. I kid, sort of. We're working on it. I should know something this weekend for this cycle... but par-for-the-course... we're not getting excited or hopeful. No we're not. That just makes people (ME) sad. We don't want that now do we? No, we don't. I can't up my crazy people pills without consent of the doctor!
I am glad we actually got to try this cycle though. It had been a while since it worked in our favor, so that part was very good. I take small blessings where I can get them.
I am on nights this week. I seem to feel the most creative (at least verbally) in the wee hours of the morning. Tonight though, I am wicked tired... so I do realize this post isn't the least bit interesting and is probably full of grotesque spelling errors. I do apologize for that part. 6 more hours and I can sleep (It's 2am here.)
Well, that's it. I'm gonna be a better blogger in the future. I swear it! Well... I hope it anyway.
Things are crazy in Jennland these days. I don't know if I'm coming or going or going backwards or left or right or standing still. Even as I am being pulled in multiple directions, all things lead to moving forward, so that's what we do. Trek through the mud as if it's not even there.
The last post I made I had to take down. It was raw and emotional and I wasn't ready to share that with the general public. I still have it, maybe one day I'll be brave enough to wear my heart on my sleeve... right now, though, I'm tucking it away for a while. It's got a few bruises that need mending. I apologize for the teaser post. I am a basket full of nerves and emotions lately (my husband would say, Just lately??!)
So, what have I been doing? Well... besides working, I am having fun with some art projects... applique mostly. I'm not very good at it, but that's why we practice and take classes! Ha! I have a Statistics class starting this month that I desperately need to register for. I'm sure you'll be bombarded with "I fucking hate this" posts shortly thereafter. ;)
I'm writing. For the first time in a long time... a fiction short-story. I can't remember the last time I did that. It's incredibly fun. If I get a decent amount written, I'll share it maybe. It's different than anything I've ever written before, but I really like it.
And of course... Tick-Tock. Tick-Tock. Tick-Tock. That's the sound my ovaries make when I wake up in the mornings, well and at night... Hell, all day long! Heh. I kid, sort of. We're working on it. I should know something this weekend for this cycle... but par-for-the-course... we're not getting excited or hopeful. No we're not. That just makes people (ME) sad. We don't want that now do we? No, we don't. I can't up my crazy people pills without consent of the doctor!
I am glad we actually got to try this cycle though. It had been a while since it worked in our favor, so that part was very good. I take small blessings where I can get them.
I am on nights this week. I seem to feel the most creative (at least verbally) in the wee hours of the morning. Tonight though, I am wicked tired... so I do realize this post isn't the least bit interesting and is probably full of grotesque spelling errors. I do apologize for that part. 6 more hours and I can sleep (It's 2am here.)
Well, that's it. I'm gonna be a better blogger in the future. I swear it! Well... I hope it anyway.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Mark and Me and a whole bunch of other stuffs.
For my birthday, My wonderful, sweet, handsome, crazy (in a good way), sexy-as-hell husband painted me a picture. It's of the two of us. Here's a picture of the... uhhh... picture. And a picture of the picture of us that he used to paint if from.
Painting:
Original Picture:
Isn't he awesome??! YES!!!
I finished Nana's quilt. I took it to the long-arm quilter the beginning of April. I got it back this week. I still have to put the binding on it, but here's a bunch of pictures of it. When I picked it up, she showed it to me and when I opened it up... well... it's just so beautiful and I had this feeling of "wow! I made that??! Holy cow!" And I felt like crying. I didn't. But I felt like it. I'm pathetic, huh?
Anyway... here it is:
This is the back.
Last, but not least... my cupcakes! Mere makes them for me for my birthday every year. They are strawberry with whipped icing. I LOVE THEM. <3<3<3<3<3
Painting:
Original Picture:Isn't he awesome??! YES!!!I finished Nana's quilt. I took it to the long-arm quilter the beginning of April. I got it back this week. I still have to put the binding on it, but here's a bunch of pictures of it. When I picked it up, she showed it to me and when I opened it up... well... it's just so beautiful and I had this feeling of "wow! I made that??! Holy cow!" And I felt like crying. I didn't. But I felt like it. I'm pathetic, huh?
Anyway... here it is:
This is the back.
Last, but not least... my cupcakes! Mere makes them for me for my birthday every year. They are strawberry with whipped icing. I LOVE THEM. <3<3<3<3<3
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
35 Things About Me
On this, the day marking the 35 year of my life, I give you: 35 random and mostly entirely useless, but very true and perhaps a little awesome, facts about me.
1) I was born on April 29th, 1974. That would make me 35 today.
2) I cried last night in bed. Turning 35 has left me a bundle of mixed emotions.
3) I have been married twice.
4) My second husband has been, and continues to be, the most amazing person I have ever known.
5) All of my friendships are very long term. My best friend and I have been friends for 15 years. Another friend, 20 years this fall.
6) I have some newer friends, I look forward every day to knowing them this long.
7) My mom died when I was 26. Saddest day of my life.
8) I have had two miscarriages. Second and third saddest days of my life.
9) The above mentioned best friend is moving in 4 months. I feel that this will rank #4.
10) I love my job. When I don't hate it. I discovered today though, that it's not the job, or the people that I've been upset with. It's been the tension. It's been killing me.
11) I am a very straight forward person. Sometimes telling it "like it is" gets me into trouble. I should learn to shut my mouth.
12) I can watch hours and hours and hours of "Angel" and "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and never tire of it.
13) Sometimes just looking at my husband takes my breath away.
14) My favorite song is called "New Way Home" by the Foo Fighters.
15) My favorite band is the Foo Fighters.
16) My favorite movie is "The Princess Bride".
17) My favorite color is Turquoise and Teal. And every color in between. It's the not green/not blue colors I love.
18) I like American Idol and many other realty TV shows and I'm not afraid to admit it. Just because I buried this information in the middle where no one will probably read it means nothing.
19) I like Chardonnay.
20) I am diabetic. I don't get to drink much Chardonnay.
21) I actually just found out I am diabetic last week. So this is all new.
22) I am still going to eat my birthday cake. Take that diabetes!
23) For my birthday Mark painted me a picture. It's the two of us. It's actually my very favorite picture of me. I think my eyes look super pretty in it.
24) I love sewing and scrapbooking and painting and pretty much all things crafty.
25) Some day I would like to travel to Spain. I can't tell you why Spain, it just always looks so pretty in the pictures.
26) I have one tattoo. I want another one. Mark is less enthusiastic.
27) I just had surgery on both my hands. They are healing nicely, but they still hurt sometimes.
28) There is hardly a better time than curling up on the sofa with Mark and taking a long nap.
29) My husband has the worst gas problems. And what's more, he's proud of it. He says ALL guys are like this. I'm not sure he's right.
30) I have a dog named Thor and Two cats: Sable and Charlie.
31) If I ever get pregnant and have a girl, I will name her Elizabeth Jewel. The boy's name is up for grabs.
32) I'm not sure if I'll ever be happy if we don't have kids.
33) Mark says he doesn't care if we don't have kids.
34) I have a room full of books. It's awesome.
35) I think my 35th year is gonna be the best yet. Here's to hoping. *Cheers*
1) I was born on April 29th, 1974. That would make me 35 today.
2) I cried last night in bed. Turning 35 has left me a bundle of mixed emotions.
3) I have been married twice.
4) My second husband has been, and continues to be, the most amazing person I have ever known.
5) All of my friendships are very long term. My best friend and I have been friends for 15 years. Another friend, 20 years this fall.
6) I have some newer friends, I look forward every day to knowing them this long.
7) My mom died when I was 26. Saddest day of my life.
8) I have had two miscarriages. Second and third saddest days of my life.
9) The above mentioned best friend is moving in 4 months. I feel that this will rank #4.
10) I love my job. When I don't hate it. I discovered today though, that it's not the job, or the people that I've been upset with. It's been the tension. It's been killing me.
11) I am a very straight forward person. Sometimes telling it "like it is" gets me into trouble. I should learn to shut my mouth.
12) I can watch hours and hours and hours of "Angel" and "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and never tire of it.
13) Sometimes just looking at my husband takes my breath away.
14) My favorite song is called "New Way Home" by the Foo Fighters.
15) My favorite band is the Foo Fighters.
16) My favorite movie is "The Princess Bride".
17) My favorite color is Turquoise and Teal. And every color in between. It's the not green/not blue colors I love.
18) I like American Idol and many other realty TV shows and I'm not afraid to admit it. Just because I buried this information in the middle where no one will probably read it means nothing.
19) I like Chardonnay.
20) I am diabetic. I don't get to drink much Chardonnay.
21) I actually just found out I am diabetic last week. So this is all new.
22) I am still going to eat my birthday cake. Take that diabetes!
23) For my birthday Mark painted me a picture. It's the two of us. It's actually my very favorite picture of me. I think my eyes look super pretty in it.
24) I love sewing and scrapbooking and painting and pretty much all things crafty.
25) Some day I would like to travel to Spain. I can't tell you why Spain, it just always looks so pretty in the pictures.
26) I have one tattoo. I want another one. Mark is less enthusiastic.
27) I just had surgery on both my hands. They are healing nicely, but they still hurt sometimes.
28) There is hardly a better time than curling up on the sofa with Mark and taking a long nap.
29) My husband has the worst gas problems. And what's more, he's proud of it. He says ALL guys are like this. I'm not sure he's right.
30) I have a dog named Thor and Two cats: Sable and Charlie.
31) If I ever get pregnant and have a girl, I will name her Elizabeth Jewel. The boy's name is up for grabs.
32) I'm not sure if I'll ever be happy if we don't have kids.
33) Mark says he doesn't care if we don't have kids.
34) I have a room full of books. It's awesome.
35) I think my 35th year is gonna be the best yet. Here's to hoping. *Cheers*
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Happy Easter
Y'all! I hope everyone had lovely times with your families!
Mark and I spent the day watching some TV and napping. Then we packed it up and went to his parent's house and had dinner and watched the kids go on a scavenger hunt. It was really fun.
I talked to good friends and family members and, honestly, I don't think I could've asked for a better Easter Sunday.
The only Easter that I think could've topped this one was three years ago. Mark's and my first date. The start of our lives together. I knew I would love him the moment I laid eyes on him. I think he felt the same way about me. We're so lucky!
Mark and I spent the day watching some TV and napping. Then we packed it up and went to his parent's house and had dinner and watched the kids go on a scavenger hunt. It was really fun.
I talked to good friends and family members and, honestly, I don't think I could've asked for a better Easter Sunday.
The only Easter that I think could've topped this one was three years ago. Mark's and my first date. The start of our lives together. I knew I would love him the moment I laid eyes on him. I think he felt the same way about me. We're so lucky!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
My brother-in-law...
is at home now. The kidney failure was from antibiotics. I'm not 100% sure of exactly what happened... but he is at home and feeling better and hopefully will continue to improve.
Thanks to those for their prayers and vibes and all around well wishes. Looks like they worked.
Thanks to those for their prayers and vibes and all around well wishes. Looks like they worked.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Prayer Request **UPDATED**
Hey Folks,
If you're the praying sort, please send one out for my husband, Mark's, brother Brian. He was admitted to the hospital yesterday and he is in kidney failure. They're not sure what's going on, they believe it's due to dehydration. He is only 30 years old. And has two small children, ages 8 and 4.
He could use all the good vibes, prayers, positive thoughts that can be sent his way and I sure would appreciate it.
Thank you.
Jennifer
04/08/09 2320 **UPDATE**
We went to see him. He's uncomfortable, but the doctors say that his kidney function is up and he's doing better. They think it was an antibiotic that he was taking that caused the problems.
I do not know if there is any permanent kidney damage, but from the information received it does not appear so.
Thanks to all of you with the well wishing and prayers. Y'all rocked it out. It's looking like he's going to be A-Ok.
If you're the praying sort, please send one out for my husband, Mark's, brother Brian. He was admitted to the hospital yesterday and he is in kidney failure. They're not sure what's going on, they believe it's due to dehydration. He is only 30 years old. And has two small children, ages 8 and 4.
He could use all the good vibes, prayers, positive thoughts that can be sent his way and I sure would appreciate it.
Thank you.
Jennifer
04/08/09 2320 **UPDATE**
We went to see him. He's uncomfortable, but the doctors say that his kidney function is up and he's doing better. They think it was an antibiotic that he was taking that caused the problems.
I do not know if there is any permanent kidney damage, but from the information received it does not appear so.
Thanks to all of you with the well wishing and prayers. Y'all rocked it out. It's looking like he's going to be A-Ok.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Fresh Market, Trader Joe's, Whole foods? EVIL
Ok, evil in a sense of, I love them and want to spend ALL my monies there buying the pretty fruits and veggies that HAVE to taste good. Whereas Foodlion? not so much on the pretty, and quite a few notches lower on the "tastes good" also. But, tons tons higher on the cheaper.
Still... I bought some berries for a tri-berry pie. And a steak for Mark and a huge piece of salmon for ME! Tonight we dine like KINGS..errr.. and QUEENS! YAY!
Still... I bought some berries for a tri-berry pie. And a steak for Mark and a huge piece of salmon for ME! Tonight we dine like KINGS..errr.. and QUEENS! YAY!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Sleepless in, or around, Richmond VA
This post is dedicated to my loyal reader: Jessica Marshall. I love ya babe. mwah
I have my days and nights mixed up... at least in the part of my brain that allows me to sleep. Between the complete and utter lack of physical movement on my part for the last two weeks, there have been an extraordinary amount of vicodin taken. This makes me sleepy. So, I sleep all day. Am up all night. And am so incredibly fucking bored that it makes me want to CRY CRY CRY.
I mean, it's 5am and I am watching "Death to Smoochy". I honestly believe that I am probably the only adult, nay person, alive or dead that adores this movie. And I do. It's awesome and fun. And Ed Norton is HOT. HOT. HOT. Plus, Jon Stewart? YES Please! Catherine Keener and Danny Devito (he also directed it.) Awesome! I adore them all... and add that Robin Williams is not the least bit annoying, perfect. My favorite scene is the Nazi one. It's truly awesome.
Speaking of Robin Williams... my forced relaxation has made me watch a bunch of movies. One of them is "License to Wed." I know. Don't judge me people. I really am just that bored. Anyway... it's cute. I don't hate it. It's got John Krasinski, who is, ok, not a great actor... but cute as a button.
Another movie I watched on my leave: "Mr. Brooks". So, if we're honest with ourselves, and we are, we don't expect much from Kevin Costner and Dane Cook combo. I mean, I think they're both easy on the eyes (Kevin has gotten easier, much easier, with age. Shuddup.) but that's about as far as they tend to go. This movie is AWESOME. It's a little slow in some parts, but on the whole, it's a fantastic thriller. Kevin Costner was Spot on. Dane Cook was... well... Dane Cook, but he's awful purty.
What else have I watched... hmmm... Oh.. tonight we watched "Reservation Road" 4 words for you. Joaquin Pheonix Mark Ruffalo. /discussion. They both do a great job. The ending was, well... eh. I wanted a little bit more. But it was really good. Plus, Jennifer Connely is amazingly beautiful and if I swung that (and I can't say I wouldn't for her) I'd be her Number 1 fan.
We also watched the new 007 "Quantum of Solace". It was good. I didn't expect much from it because people I know that watched it didn't think it was that great. I liked it though. Plus, Daniel Craig??? in the immortal words of pepe le pew.. le rowr. Le rowr rowr!!!!
We also saw "Hard Candy"... It was good... it was different. I don't think I like Ellen Page. I have yet to really enjoy a movie she was in. I detested "Juno"... Oh, I liked "Saved".. wait, that wasn't her. Who was that?? Jena Malone. I like her.
So.. that's most of the movies I've watched over the last couple of weeks. I also managed to finish season 5 of Angel. :Sigh: I miss that show. It was so good!!
Ok... I'm going to try to get more sleep. All the movies I mentioned have links to their IMDB page if you want more info. Cheers.
I have my days and nights mixed up... at least in the part of my brain that allows me to sleep. Between the complete and utter lack of physical movement on my part for the last two weeks, there have been an extraordinary amount of vicodin taken. This makes me sleepy. So, I sleep all day. Am up all night. And am so incredibly fucking bored that it makes me want to CRY CRY CRY.
I mean, it's 5am and I am watching "Death to Smoochy". I honestly believe that I am probably the only adult, nay person, alive or dead that adores this movie. And I do. It's awesome and fun. And Ed Norton is HOT. HOT. HOT. Plus, Jon Stewart? YES Please! Catherine Keener and Danny Devito (he also directed it.) Awesome! I adore them all... and add that Robin Williams is not the least bit annoying, perfect. My favorite scene is the Nazi one. It's truly awesome.
Speaking of Robin Williams... my forced relaxation has made me watch a bunch of movies. One of them is "License to Wed." I know. Don't judge me people. I really am just that bored. Anyway... it's cute. I don't hate it. It's got John Krasinski, who is, ok, not a great actor... but cute as a button.
Another movie I watched on my leave: "Mr. Brooks". So, if we're honest with ourselves, and we are, we don't expect much from Kevin Costner and Dane Cook combo. I mean, I think they're both easy on the eyes (Kevin has gotten easier, much easier, with age. Shuddup.) but that's about as far as they tend to go. This movie is AWESOME. It's a little slow in some parts, but on the whole, it's a fantastic thriller. Kevin Costner was Spot on. Dane Cook was... well... Dane Cook, but he's awful purty.
What else have I watched... hmmm... Oh.. tonight we watched "Reservation Road" 4 words for you. Joaquin Pheonix Mark Ruffalo. /discussion. They both do a great job. The ending was, well... eh. I wanted a little bit more. But it was really good. Plus, Jennifer Connely is amazingly beautiful and if I swung that (and I can't say I wouldn't for her) I'd be her Number 1 fan.
We also watched the new 007 "Quantum of Solace". It was good. I didn't expect much from it because people I know that watched it didn't think it was that great. I liked it though. Plus, Daniel Craig??? in the immortal words of pepe le pew.. le rowr. Le rowr rowr!!!!
We also saw "Hard Candy"... It was good... it was different. I don't think I like Ellen Page. I have yet to really enjoy a movie she was in. I detested "Juno"... Oh, I liked "Saved".. wait, that wasn't her. Who was that?? Jena Malone. I like her.
So.. that's most of the movies I've watched over the last couple of weeks. I also managed to finish season 5 of Angel. :Sigh: I miss that show. It was so good!!
Ok... I'm going to try to get more sleep. All the movies I mentioned have links to their IMDB page if you want more info. Cheers.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Snow Day !!!!!
We're snowed in. It's freakin' awesome! We've only got about 6 inches out there, but in the VA it's plenty enough to shut the whole world down. YAY! Here's some pics:
This is at my front door... we had a visitor sometime during the night, pretty neat, huh?
Here are some others:
This is at my front door... we had a visitor sometime during the night, pretty neat, huh?
Here are some others:
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Chubby chick makes waves with local radio station. Story at 11.
I did something out of character yesterday. I sent an email to the Vice-president of K-95 (a country radio station here in Richmond.) I've never done this sort of things before, but I had been thinking I needed to voice my opinion on some things regarding their radio station. Here's why: A few weeks back I was listening to the morning show. They were promoting the Jessica Simpson concert and Catfish made some off-color comments regarding her supposed weight gain. I rolled my eyes and ignored it.... but then he did it again the next day and the next. Then last week he made similar derogatory comments about someone else. Usually I will just brush it off, it wasn't said to me or about me so I will ignore it... but for some reason I couldn't let this go anymore. It seems to me that Catfish has been put in a position where people look up to him, everyone loves him. So it should follow that he's respectful and considerate in returne.
So I emailed Mr. Willoughby. The web site said he was the vice president... here's what I said:
Dear Mr. Willoughby,
I have been a loyal listener to K95 for quite some time now. I am 35
years old and began listening to your radio station in my teens. The
majority of my adult life I have worked evenings and nights in a local hospital
here in Richmond. A couple of years ago I switched to day-shift which
allowed me to listen to the locally esteemed Catfish and Lori. I work
45-50 hours a week and listen to K95 just about that much as well. The
majority of the time I enjoy their banter and their segments, however, I have a
growing concern about some off-handed remarks that have been made by
Catfish.
A few weeks back they were promoting the Jessica Simpson concert.
Catfish made several "humorous" remarks about her weight gain on multiple
occasions. Then again this earlier this week I heard him make similar
remarks about another woman, though I can't remember that woman's name. I
understand he's joking and probably means no offense by these remarks. I
can't help but be concerned though, I am starting a family with my husband and
we want to raise our family to accept all human beings and not to make fun of
their short-comings or imperfections, whatever they may be. I think with
all the tension and stress in the world right now listening to the radio should
be comforting and relaxing. In other words, I don't want to hear ugly
remarks about women's bodies.
Your station bills itself on being "family" oriented. but I would no
sooner allow my children to listen to these sorts of remarks than I will listen
to them myself. Mark Wills has a song that you play on your station fairly
often called "Don't Laugh at Me". Maybe Catfish should take some time to
listen to that song and hopefully regain some perspective and perhaps realize
the error of his ways. If he can't, then I suggest he simply just keep his
nasty remarks to himself and off your public radio station.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Jennifer L Mobley
I read it to Mark... he said it was good until I got to the end and that I was a little nasty at the end. I don't think that's true though, I think I was just making my point clear. :) Mr. Willoughby responded by saying:
Thanks Jennifer, I will forward your email to Catfish and our program
director. Food for thought...
Take care,
Bob
So, we'll see. I don't know what else will happen with it and I'm not sure how far I'm willing to take it. Probably not very far. I just felt like saying my peace. I'm sure that it will just be brushed off as some chubby chick who hasn't had enough to eat.... but that's ok. Nothing can ever change unless you try. So I tried.
I'm curious to know if anyone reading this thinks I was wrong to send that email? It won't hurt my feelings, I'd just like to know what you would've done. I can be a bit reactionary, and I'm sure that played into my decision to send it... but I am what I am, ya know? I don't want anything, I'm not going to sue them. I just want to be heard. Hopefully I will be.
I'll let you know if I hear anything more.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Living in slow motion.
I can't keep my eyes open. Every muscle in my body hurts as well as some of my bones. Nightshifts can kiss my lily white hind parts. Seriously.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
My "new" sewing machine....
Around christmas time, my inlaws were getting rid of this sewing machine. Naturally, I wanted it badly! It's so beautiful and old and just looking at it makes me happy.
A sleepy Saturday night...
.... so it might actually just be "me" that is sleepy. But whatever, it's Saturday night people! It's a party! OK, no, it's not.
As some of you may know already, I work a lot. I have ONE free weekend a month, every other weekend I work. Most weeks I work 55 or so hours a week. That's not much, but it's enough to get me good and tired by the weekend.
Another thing I'd like to point out before I continue on with what surely will become a rant: Mark (my husband) and I never fight. We don't squabble, we don't become annoyed with one another easily. We have never been one of those couples that butt heads frequently.
Ok, so the meat of it. It's my weekend off. My ONLY weekend off until this time next month. I want to be lazy. I want to sleep late AND take a long nap. I want to drink coffee and read one of my millions of books I don't have time to read. I want to eat a bloody steak and get drowsy and relax. This is all I care about doing.
Mark though, he works 35 hours a week and has every weekend off. He misses me. More importantly, he's bored. He wants to be busy. He wants to go do stuff. I just don't have the energy. I really don't care that I don't have the energy. I don't think it's unreasonable that I'm ok with the relaxing, I really don't. '
So, now we're irritated with each other and I'm wondering how far I should take this. I don't think it's fair that he becomes irritated with me because I'm tired and don't feel like getting dressed up and going out. I enjoy my pajamas more than would seem humanly possible. I don't want to put on regular pants... even more? I don't want to put on a bra. I want to watch trashy movies and take an awesome nap!
I know he just wants to be with me, that he misses me. I know that this is because he loves me more than anything in this world. I love these things about him. And I love him. So I got dressed and we went to Barnes and Noble. I made him buy me a book and some coffee. We went to dinner with my Dad and his girlfriend. I did those things and now I'm free to relax. (also I'm free because there's a UFC match on tonight and he loves those probably as much as he loves me.)
I love him. And I know I'm the luckiest girl in the whole world to be loved by someone like Mark. He's amazing and wonderful to me. I shouldn't complain. He's an excellent husband. I need some sleep though. I need quiet time. I need alone time. I need silence and calm and relaxation. I need him to understand these things and to not make me feel guilty for not wanting the same sorta weekend activities that he wants.
Alright, well I know this was incredibly boring to read. Gold stars to those of you that got through it all. I just needed to get it off my chest. It was boiling up and the last thing, the VERY last thing I can handle right now is a fight. No.No.NO. So, it's better this way.
Cheers y'all.
As some of you may know already, I work a lot. I have ONE free weekend a month, every other weekend I work. Most weeks I work 55 or so hours a week. That's not much, but it's enough to get me good and tired by the weekend.
Another thing I'd like to point out before I continue on with what surely will become a rant: Mark (my husband) and I never fight. We don't squabble, we don't become annoyed with one another easily. We have never been one of those couples that butt heads frequently.
Ok, so the meat of it. It's my weekend off. My ONLY weekend off until this time next month. I want to be lazy. I want to sleep late AND take a long nap. I want to drink coffee and read one of my millions of books I don't have time to read. I want to eat a bloody steak and get drowsy and relax. This is all I care about doing.
Mark though, he works 35 hours a week and has every weekend off. He misses me. More importantly, he's bored. He wants to be busy. He wants to go do stuff. I just don't have the energy. I really don't care that I don't have the energy. I don't think it's unreasonable that I'm ok with the relaxing, I really don't. '
So, now we're irritated with each other and I'm wondering how far I should take this. I don't think it's fair that he becomes irritated with me because I'm tired and don't feel like getting dressed up and going out. I enjoy my pajamas more than would seem humanly possible. I don't want to put on regular pants... even more? I don't want to put on a bra. I want to watch trashy movies and take an awesome nap!
I know he just wants to be with me, that he misses me. I know that this is because he loves me more than anything in this world. I love these things about him. And I love him. So I got dressed and we went to Barnes and Noble. I made him buy me a book and some coffee. We went to dinner with my Dad and his girlfriend. I did those things and now I'm free to relax. (also I'm free because there's a UFC match on tonight and he loves those probably as much as he loves me.)
I love him. And I know I'm the luckiest girl in the whole world to be loved by someone like Mark. He's amazing and wonderful to me. I shouldn't complain. He's an excellent husband. I need some sleep though. I need quiet time. I need alone time. I need silence and calm and relaxation. I need him to understand these things and to not make me feel guilty for not wanting the same sorta weekend activities that he wants.
Alright, well I know this was incredibly boring to read. Gold stars to those of you that got through it all. I just needed to get it off my chest. It was boiling up and the last thing, the VERY last thing I can handle right now is a fight. No.No.NO. So, it's better this way.
Cheers y'all.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
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