The house that Mark built...

Well... the library anyway.

Early on in our marriage it was clear that we each need our own space. Some place where we can go to relax and have our personal stuff and practice our different hobbies.

Mark is a video gamer. His room needs doors. (NOISY) My hobbies are quieter. I sew and scrapbook and other stuff like that.

I also read. I have a lot of books. A LOT. So... we turned our "formal living room" space in my library/study. Mark handmade me built in book shelves. I made curtains. We both picked out the paint, I picked out the table... now we need a love seat and some art. It's awesome.

Here's proof:

Confidential to My Mom:

(Today marks the 8th anniversary of my mom's passing. So, in her honor, I'm going to tell her 8 things I wish she knew.)

In no particular order:

1) I think about You and miss you every single day, without exception.

2) Mark. I wish you knew him. You'd love him almost as much I do, I have no doubts.

3) I'm almost done with college. I'm not making A's, but I also don't care about that. I'm almost done. YAY!

4) If I ever manage to have a child, a daughter, I am going to name her after you, Elizabeth and Mark's mom, Jewel.

5) Dad's ok. He's not perfect, but he's ok. He misses you.

6) Suzanne's doing better too. She's got a stable job, she misses you too.

7) I work hard. Two jobs. I'm still lazy, but you'd be proud.

8) I got a tattoo. I know. Dad couldn't believe it either.

If I could only time travel!

I would travel forth to a time where 1) the election was OVER. 2) My two upcoming tests were over. 3) Actually, all of school was over altogether, including the big test I have to take after all the "learning" is said and done.

Mostly though, I just want this fucking election over with. I am tired of hearing about it. I'm tired of talking about it. I'm tired of being at odds with the people around me over it. I'm tired of my opinions not being respected. Last night, my father kept putting words in my mouth. He'd say stuff like, "I know [this or that] doesn't matter to you, but...." Only I never said it didn't matter, I never said anything about it. So I kept having to say, I didn't say that dad.

oh, at one point he said, "I know you're pro-abortion..." What the fuck, Dad? When have you (or ANYONE) ever heard me say anything at all about being "Pro-Abortion"? NEVER is the right answer.

Anyway... so yeah... I can't wait until Tuesday is OVER with. O.V.E.R. And, I'm glad I have to work tuesday evening. That makes me very happy. I don't have to listen to anyone about it all day long. YAY.

Baby urges!!!

:sigh: Here we go again.

Mark and I decided that when my period starts the next time we're going to try to get pregnant again. SCARY!! To be truthful... I am terrified. Deep down inside I feel like we're meant to be parents. But on the surface I worry that I'll keep failing. I hate that. The idea of failing over and over again.

But... we can't succeed if we don't try, so... Here we go again. At least we'll get lotsa sexxin' out of it! ha.

My Life Needs Rubber Stoppers....

At one of my three day orientations for my PRN job, they gave out these stickers that you attach to the back side of your phone. The idea is that your phone won't slip off and fall and break. Theoretically, it's supposed to stop accidents.

I need something attached to me to stop accidents. Not physically... I don't go around hurting myself... but emotionally and mentally, I'd really like to stop "falling."

I guess this sounds all dramatic and pitiful and I suppose it is.... but sometimes I just feel like I'm flailing. Perhaps "rubber stopper" can be a euphemism for "Straight Jacket" in the future?

So I lost my engagement ring...

I literally went to bed one night with it and woke up without it. Literally. I got in the car and was on my merry way to work. I looked down and my rings were GONE. I turned around and drove back home. I located my wedding band on the floor at the foot of the bed. The engagement ring is GONE. It's so disappointing because the rings go together. They are unique and beautiful and precious to me. Makes me so sad.

So I put it through to the insurance company. I'm getting back a decent amount of money. But not enough to replace it. And we cannot afford to fill in the rest. (About $600 more than what we're getting... but that's $599 more than what we have extra right not.)

So... now I'm on the search for a "filler" ring. Something that I can wear and love, but that can easily be replaced (emotionally) when we can afford to get a "real" ring.

So.. bye bye dear engagement ring:

Sweetness x 2389234098324098

I make no bones about having the most magnificent husband there is to have. He's not perfect, but none of us are so that's not important. What is important is that he loves me and loves "us". He makes me feel amazing and beautiful and worthy.

Due to the increasingly unsettled economy I have taken a second job. It's a good job, easy job, and fun. But... as anything, it makes things stressful. So, to help out, make things easier... Mark has started doing the dishes. This, in and of itself, is AMAZING! Honestly, knowing I won't have to worry about it makes life easier.

On top of that, I come home and find a sheet of paper laying on my laptop with this written on it:

"No matter where I am or what I do
I'm constantly thinking of you.
I picture your face when you're away
And that's the hardest part of my day.
For when I see your face, I want to feel your touch.
And I realize I miss you so much.
It's clear to me when I sit and think
that you're the river form which I drink.
The necessity I need to life and grow
I love you and that I wan you to know."

So.. yeah, sorry girls, I got the king of men. And I'm not gonna let him go.