...that my last post made little sense to anyone who is not in my head. Unfortunately, my head was on Ambien so I am not sure I can even fully explain what I don't remember writing.
The dreams part, that was real. I wonder if my subconscious is telling me to write more often or, ya know, at all. Or maybe they're telling me to stop thinking entirely. (That'd be my first option, should I get to choose.)
So, here's the main issue. I dont have a job. Haven't had a job for over a month now. And I'm going out of my fucking head. I'm so bored. I'm home alone or with a one year old ALL the time. All of that put together makes me want to shoot myself in the head. (Not literally, I am not suicidal.) I'm just so bored. SO SO SO SO bored. I need a purpose, an agenda, something that has something to do with not taking care of Quinn and Mark. I could clean, but I really don't want to. I could organize, but I don't want to do that either.
I need a job. I need a job. I need a job. I need a job. I need a job. I need a fucking job. There is just nothing to apply for. I've applied for everything. Stuff above my head, below my head, everything in between. Nothing. Two interviews. Two more potential interviews and they fizzled out. And freaking nothing. :sigh:
Did I mention how bored I am?
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